These long nights are back again.

Time after time, just when I think things are getting better in life, it takes a dip. I mean, I know that life isn't supposed to be all smooth sailing and carefree, but honestly, can't I please just have a break? When will it be enough to break me? And when will I be happy again?

I have never been someone who runs away from their problems, or had a problem with being by myself. But these days, I have been lonely. Its not that I have been alone, in fact, I have been spending time with people over the festive season, but I guess there is a bit of emptiness eating me up inside.

This blog was once used for recording my daily (mis)adventures, or ramblings about life. But in the past years, it's just an outlet for me, when I can't sleep at night. Saddest people write the most, or so they say. Its been a little over 4 years of working life for me - I guess I didn't think I will only be right where I am now. I thought I would be more successful. I thought that maybe by this time, I would have had my future planned out. With luck, a boyfriend in tow, and hopefully marriage and a future in the cards. Who would have thought? I guess life had a different route in store for me.

I think I fall too hard. Maybe its a side effect of believing in love and magic and whats not. The me in 2009, insisted that all she needed was a little "faith, trust and pixie dust". Now, 5 years later in 2014, the me realises, "alis volat propriis". Both quotes, wishing to fly, via a different way. Which girl I prefer more, I think the first. But the latter is more practical, and I guess hurt often enough, not to be cynical, but to know that she can really only rely on herself.

A couple of days left in 2014. I guess I have a lot to be thankful for this year as well, but I will leave those memories for another day. Dear Cheryl, hang in there. Wipe those tears, and chin up. Nothing lasts forever, you know that don't you?